I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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