yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
handjob tips. give me some.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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