hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
