I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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