O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
