Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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