halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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