Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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