I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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