I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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