she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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