the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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