i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
