Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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