White coat. Heels.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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