Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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