I seem to have left my pride at pride
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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