Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
