I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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