My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
