It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't make out with my wife yet
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
