despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
