True but thats because hes a fetus.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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