I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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