Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
