I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
