Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
