She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Randomize