God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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