Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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