I cockslap morals
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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