in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
