If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This house was built for laser tag.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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