Yo dont text me then not text me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
