you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
