her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
