just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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