you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
