I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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