I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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