even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
