This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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