I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
