Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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