Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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