Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?