Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
