i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
