fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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