Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
