he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My feet surprised me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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