Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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