why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The beer is more important than you right now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
