I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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