so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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