does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
