So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
