Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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