Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
