I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
