My hand turned me down
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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