Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
