drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize