Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
