BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sorry about my life...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
