i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
